Thursday, March 11, 2010

Equation about Man & Women

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++

Equation 2

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +


To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude


Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

Medical College Entrance Exam

Santa applied to a Medical School. These were his answers in the Medical Terms Test:

Antibody - against everyone
Artery - the study of fine paintings
Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria
Benign - what you be after you be eight
Bowel - letters like a, e, i, o, u
Caesarian Section - a district in Rome
Cardiology - advanced study of Poker playing
Cat Scan - searching for lost kitty
Chronic - neck of a crow
Coma - punctuation mark
Cortisone - area around local court
Cyst - short for sister
Diagnosis - person with slanted nose
Dilate - the late British Princess Diana
Dislocation - this is the place
Duodenum - couple in blue jeans
Enema - not a friend
False Labor - pretending to work
Genes - blue denim
Groin - to mash to a pulp/smile
Hernia - she is close by
Hymen - greetings to several males
Impotent - distinguished/ well-known
Labour Pain - hurt at work
Lactose - people without feet
Lymph - walk unsteadily
Microbes - small dressing gowns
Obesity - City of Obe
Pacemaker - winner of Nobel Peace Prize
Protein - in favor of teens
Pulse - grain
Pus - small cat
Red Blood Count - Dracula
Rupture - Ecstasy
Secretion - hiding anything
Subcutaneous - not cute enough
Suture - Gujarati for 'what is it?'
Tablet - small table
Tumor - extra pair
Ultrasound - radical noise
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose - very close

Things aren't always what they seem

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. !


The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room.
Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.

When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,
'Things aren't always what they seem.'


The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest
When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.


The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen?


The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused.
The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.
'Things aren't always what they seem,' the older angel replied.


'When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall.
Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the
wall so he wouldn't find it.'


'Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him
the cow instead.
Things aren't always what they seem.'


Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every out come is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until some time later...

Is Social Security Set To Fail?

It's often said that Social Security is the third rail of American politics: touch it and you die. Politician's fears are justified as this topic impacts almost every American and the situation doesn't have any easy solutions; at least none that would make the majority of Americans happy. But if we turn to Social Security recipients, the justification for fear depends on individual situations. (Learn more in Introduction To Social Security and Top 6 Myths About Social Security Benefits.)

Social Security Basics
Social Security has been in a cash-flow positive position basically since it started. It has more money coming in through the FICA payroll tax that is going out to recipients. The extra money is held in the Social Security trust fund, although it's not just sitting there. It's loaned to the Treasury through the sale of special bonds and the Treasury spends it as part of the overall federal spending. This is why some people refer to the trust fund as a bunch of IOUs.

From Surplus to Deficit
What's about to change is that the surplus is about to become a deficit. The reason is that the baby boomer generation is about to retire. As they do, there will be an increase in the people receiving benefits and a reduction in those that pay into Social Security.

Depending on who's doing the projection, the turn from positive to negative could happen anywhere from next year to 2016. But everyone's projecting that soon, the revenues won't cover the expenses. At that point, Social Security will start calling back those special bonds in the trust fund. Some think this isn't a problem as the trust fund securities can be cashed in and fund the deficit until, again depending on who you listen to, 2037. Then something will have to be done.

Possible Solutions
However, the federal government has to pay the money back into the trust fund so that those that receive Social Security will still get their checks. To do that they can either increase taxes, decrease spending or add to the deficit by borrowing. It's pretty easy to see why politicians don't want to touch this issue.

And to make things worse, the federal government won't have the Social Security money that comes in from the trust fund. So that lack of income on top of starting to repay the trust fund for past IOUs means they will have to come up with even more money to fund Social Security. With less coming in and more going out, it's a double hit. As we are currently running record deficits already, this isn't good news for anyone.

Should you be concerned?
If you are over 65 and collecting Social Security, this probably won't impact you much. It's very unlikely that politicians will cut your benefits significantly - regardless of the budget and deficit impact. However, the odds on getting more benefits in the future are slim and there is always a chance of some tinkering with things like the cost of living adjustment. But politicians know that seniors vote, so the impact will likely be minimal.

If you are a baby boomer, ages 45 to 65, the closer to 65 you are, the higher the probability you will see your full retirement as promised. As some are just hitting retirement age, the amount of money that needs to come from the Treasury to repay the trust fund bonds will be small at first, and the changes in cash flow shouldn't put undue burdens on the system. But it will grow as more baby boomers retire.

For Generation X, ages 24 to 44, the matter seems to become more sticky. The impact on the deficit of paying back the IOUs will grow, and by the time all Gen-Xers hit their retirement age of 67, the trust fund will be gone and the accounting magic will turn into just a normal deficit. The difference is moot as the money is coming from the taxpayers regardless of whether they are repaying the bonds or just paying the bill directly.

Future Changes
However, there will be a point when the amount they will be paying into this program will become an issue. When that happens, there are a couple of options, none of which are great. They can increase the FICA tax, increase the retirement age or reduce the benefits. Obviously, a combination of the three would be a compromise worth looking at.

For Generation Y and the following generations this issue should calm down as the population rebounded in Gen Y, which will increase receipts, and the baby boom will start dying off, relieving the system of their benefits. Also, the solution will have been worked out by then, so they will be able to adjust to the changing conditions and not get caught depending on Social Security benefits that may not be there.

Bottom Line
So while there are some issues with Social Security for some generations, the bigger issue that will impact us all is where is the money coming from to pay the existing IOUs until 2037? That's a problem with deficits as far as the eye can see and a record national debt. Talk about your third rails. No one wants to touch this one either.

Why everyone wants to work fo the Government

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,
The second man was an Accountant,
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.'

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.


Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,
'Spreadsheet, do your stuff..'

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff.'

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?'

The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.'

CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......


Ate the cookies..... ...
Drank the milk.......
S**t on the paper.......
Screwed the other three cats.......


Claimed he injured his back while doing so..

Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.. .....

Put in for Workers Compensation. .......

and Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave....... .....

AND THAT IS WHY, MY FRIEND EVERYONE
WANT'S TO WORK IN THE GOVERNMENT

Three Kick Rule

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell int o a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Cowra . We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

(I love this part)

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear.


When you're intelligent, you know which half.

Why You Should Care About DJIA Priced in Gold

Of the many forward looking market indicators we at EWI employ, one of the most interesting tools (and least discussed in the financial media) is the DJIA priced in gold -- "the real money," as EWI's president Robert Prechter calls it.
We've been tracking the Dow/Gold ratio for many years and it has serves our subscribers well. It's not a short-term timing tool, yet in the longer term, as our January 6 Short Term Update put it, "the nominal Dow eventually plays catch up to what is transpiring in the Dow/Gold ratio."
Here's a good example. Remember when the nominal DJIA hit its all-time high? October 2007, just above 14,000. At that time, most investors expected new highs still to come. But our Elliott Wave Financial Forecast warned five months prior, in May 2007:
One key reason [for a coming top in the DJIA] is the undeniable bear market status of the Dow Jones Industrial Average in terms of gold, the Real Dow...
Notice, by contrast, the relative strength of the Real Dow versus the nominal Dow, the index in terms of dollars, from 1980 to 1982. By August 1982 when the Dow denominated in dollars bottomed, the Real Dow was rising strongly from its 1980 low... The nominal Dow soon played catch-up, and they both rallied more or less in sync until 1999.
Now, instead of soaring the Real Dow is crashing relative to the nominal Dow. In fact, it’s barely off its low of May 2006. This dichotomy reveals the weakness that underlies the financial markets’ push higher. When mood turns and credit inflation reverses, the ensuing drop in the nominal value of the market should be dramatic.
"Dramatic drop" did indeed follow: Between October 2007 and March 2009, the DJIA lost 53%, high to low.